Today I have a guest post from Lacey Updegraff from Pageant Moms Club. She is sharing steps on 5 Ways To Become a Great Pageant Mentor. I hope you find this informative and encouraging. Enjoy!
“Every great achiever is inspired by a great mentor.” – Lailah Gifty Akita
My daughter, Ella, recently turned 11. She has been doing pageants since she was 6 years old. If you were to ask her, the greatest thing about pageants is getting to meet other girls from all over the country. What’s funny about that answer is that she is really not a big talker – she’s not the girl who is going to run up to all of the other girls to find out who they are or ask them to be her BFF – she’s more of the one that will politely smile at the other girls from nearby or wave if they walk past her in the hallway.
What Ella really means is the greatest thing about pageants is the girls that have invested in her, and there is one in particular that stands out – her mentor, Chandler. Ella met Chandler as a Rising Star contestant in the Miss Cahaba Valley pageant (a preliminary for Miss Alabama) just over three years ago. Ella was paired with another contestant, but all of the little girls were able to spend time with all of the “big” contestants during the day. Of course there were some contestants who were not very engaging and obviously not interested in hanging out with the little girls. But then there were those who the little girls just flocked to – mostly the ones who just had that “light” about them. Chandler was one of those girls.
The pageant went late into the evening, and the little girls were supposed to sit in the crowd and cheer for their contestant. Ella had fallen asleep in my lap (it was well after 9 pm and they had been there since lunch time). Chandler won the title of Miss Cahaba Valley, but there had not been enough girls to sign up to be Rising Stars so she did not have one but to go to Miss Alabama, each contestant must have a Rising Star, so she had to draw a name out of a bowl. And, of course, Ella’s name was drawn. So, I woke her up, she rubbed her eyes and ran on stage to congratulate Chandler!
The rest of that night is kind of blurry. I know we met Chandler and her family, but that’s about all I remember. She called me a few days later and the rest is history. I fell in love with Chandler and her sweet spirit. I knew she was a good fit for Ella because she seemed to understand Ella’s rhythm and was truly excited to be around her. Ella thought she hung the moon (and still does)! She came to dinner, spent the night with us one night – and brought crafts, which I’m pretty sure is Ella’s love language – and sent her cards and notes during the year.
The Miss Alabama pageant was so much fun for Ella and all of the Rising Stars to be a part of, but I’m pretty sure it paled in comparison to how much fun she had with Chandler just being a part of her world that year. When Miss Alabama was over, Chandler competed in another preliminary and won, so Ella got to be her Rising Star again.
Chandler has since moved to Washington DC, but Ella still gets cards and letters from her. We even get to visit her this summer!
Ella has had so many sister queens and “mentors” at pageants over the years, but there is so much more than just showing up when it comes to being a great mentor. There are some things that will take you from being a good mentor to a great one:
1. Listen and get to know the little girls, but remember what they tell you and you will be their hero!
2. Participate in the things they do. Don’t just show up to a game or pageant they are in, but make signs, help them with their hair and makeup, and participate in what they are doing. It will mean the world to them (and also to their moms). Bring them with you to volunteer or make an appearance at an event; they can participate in the things you do too!
3. Speak words of life into them. Most of these girls are between 8-12 years old. They are hearing so much about who they are or who they should be every single day. Make sure they are hearing positive words about who they are and what you see in them. Also, make sure that you are saying positive things about yourself! They are watching and listening!
4. Sister Queens: Be a good pageant contestant! These little girls need to learn about positive pageantry. Like I said before, they are watching and listening! Support each other, lift other contestants up, and be a great contestant yourself!
5. Don’t take being a mentor or sister queen for granted! This is not just another thing you have to do for your crown. This is a great experience to lead and guide future generations of young girls! Teach them what you wish someone would have taught you.
As a mom, I hope Ella and Chandler’s relationship continues long into adulthood. Anytime I can have another adult teach my children positive life lessons, I will continue to encourage those relationships.
So if you are going to compete in pageants, do me and all of the other pageant moms out there a favor, and do it well! Show these little girls coming up behind you what being a great mentor looks like. Whether you are 8, 18, or 28, you have someone looking up to you – let them see someone worth looking up to!
I want to thank Lacey Updegraff for contributing this post. Lacey is the creator of the blog, PageantMomsClub.com. She has 3 kids, and Ella, her oldest, is the one that made her a Pageant Mom. She lives in the beautiful state of Alabama. When she is not working full-time at a non-profit, she is chasing kiddos around. She enjoys reading, decorating, and spending time outside.
You can follow Lacey on the following sites/social media handles:
Blog Website: www.pageantmomsclub.com
Facebook: Pageant Moms Club
Thank you for these tips. I have been doing pageants for five years now. Mentorship is a weak area for me because it’s an area I haven’t intentionally developed. With these tips I can implement ways to be more intentional about mentoring others and how to be a better mentee.
Great! Thanks for supporting!